McLaughlin and Lichty have byes this week. Good luck to both of them, they’re going to need it.
- Allendorph v Jansen: Jansen has no shot here. Allendorph is so utterly superior that there is no way that Jansen even has a chance. Keep your ears open for the double take out routine. It’s all they’ve got.
- Wainberg v Haga: Instead of playing this week these two foes will sit by the fire and knit curling sweaters for each other. Bring in your favorite yarn if you want in. RSVP by Wednesday at noon.
- Eisfelder v Perpich: Eisfelder gets serious this week with a laser level, some Doppler sensors, and a sextant, don’t ask me what they’re for, just embrace their enthusiasm. Perpich would be wise to bring proper eye protection.
- Dubois v Hammes: Most likely, this will be seven ends of drinking with a break in the middle for one end of curling, possibly just a coin flip, maybe not even that. The whole thing is sponsored by Crown Royal Maple.
- Anderson v Lichteig: The club booked the band Survivor to play their hits during this match. Boomer and Sauro will have to play on a half sheet.
- Boomer v Sauro: Luckily, most ‘giners should be avoided this week because of the half sheet format. Extra points if you hit Mickey Curry’s kick drum.
- Rohde v McGovern: Rohde wagered a bucket of KFC on the outcome of this match. McGovern took the bet with the understanding that the loser is the one who has to eat it.
- Trygstad v Tolzmann: Extra seats are being brought in for this one as well as a 30 pack of PBR tall boys and a pallet of moustache wax. If you pour the PBR into a tulip glass and hit it with a spritz of Deep Woods Off, it tastes just like Surly. Cheers.