Category: Weekly Matchup

SUPER SORRY! Things have been busy and I have totally let you all down.

Sadly, I’ll have to be brief today as well.

• McLellan – Rokke:
• Long – McGovern:
• Anderson – Lickteig:
• Moll – Jansen:
• Hammes – Dveris:
• Boomer – Rohde:
• Dubois – Pylka:
• Zimmerman – Lawrence:

Let’s have some fun this week.

Chili night is this week! Don’t forget. If it works out like past years, half the teams bring chili and the other half brings fixin’s. Don’t mess this up.

• Long – Lawrence: It’s “Bring Your Grandpa Curling” over on sheet 1. If we’re lucky, there should be a big bowl of Werther’s Original and some Pepperidge Farm goodies to be had. Make sure you stop in and say hi. And pull your pants up, nothing pisses off Grandpa more than saggy drawers.
• Lichty – McLaughlin: Sheet 2 is more like an America’s Cup gala. Good looking folks gathering for a worthy cause. Open up your wallets because carbon fiber yachts don’t grow on trees. Anyone want another Fresca?
• Rohde – Rokke: Sheet 3 plays out like the World Memory Championships. Lots of silence and concentration and when it’s all over, you’re not really sure how one actually wins. Stop by with a deck of cards and have your mind blown.
• Zimmerman – Boomer: Sheet 4 hosts a community theater version of “Whose Line Is It Anyway” where the improv is clearly scripted and the most of the laughs are steeped in a combination of pity, embarrassment, and blood relation. The standing ovation at the end is only because the audience is trying to leave before they have to pay the meter again.
• Dubois – Anderson: Report to sheet 5 for your college physical education elective. If you register early, you might get a coveted slot in the bowling or darts class. If you’re not so lucky, you may have to settle for intro to weight lifting. Either way, you’re bound to end up with a pissed off teacher in polyester shorts and thighs exposed way past the legal limit. Wear your sunglasses.
• Lickteig – Pylka: A visit to sheet 6 is not advised this week. Sure, they say they just want to ask you a few questions, but things get pretty accusatory in a hurry. Their story keeps changing. Are you being charged with anything? Can you see a lawyer? Are you sure? Then they pull the good cop/bad cop routine on you and you’ve got a new best friend who’s well connected with the District Attorney. Avoid it if you can, but if you get trapped, I can post bail.
• McLellan – Jansen: Bring your short pole and some night crawlers to sheet 7 and don’t worry about long underwear. They keep the shack nice and toasty all winter. A six pack is appreciated; just leave it by the door. Sounds like the perch are biting, and someone down the point has had some luck with the smallies as well. If you knock over that spitter one more time, you’ll be asked to leave.
• Moll – Hammes: This is one of those Lifetime Original movies where the woman has the struggles and then finds the strength to overcome and then finds a great guy but then ends it because she doesn’t need anyone but herself. A Vanessa Carlton soundtrack and a cameo by Jodie Sweetin can’t even save this recycled drivel. Sponsored by GoGirl.

Did I mention chili? Also, let’s keep this activity running smoothly by cleaning up after ourselves.

 

 

Only a few weeks left of regular season curling action. Another great year to be sure.

• Zimmerman – McLaughlin: Normally Zimmerman would be a decent bet, but attendance has been spotty and led to some atypical outcomes as of late. McLaughlin performed well last week and might be able to use that momentum to start a streak (in the positive direction). Tough to call but I see Zimmerman just barely squeaking one out.
• Rokke – Lawrence: The veil has been lifted on Rokke (NR). It turns out that under all those red jackets and PG-13 tee shirts, they’re just a regular curling team. They’ll have their hands full with Lawrence this week and I think with some apparel embellishments in the form of fake sleeve ink, faux hair, or bedazzled athletic supporters, Lawrence can get the boost they need to make it happen.
• McLellan – Dveris: McLellan almost did the league a favor last week, but couldn’t quite commit. We’ll see how that carries over to this week’s match-up. Dveris are neck-and-neck with them in the standings so I think we’l l see a pretty good game. Each will have a big end the winner will have to grind it out. I think Dveris has a slight edge.
• Dubois – McGovern: Another highly anticipated showdown on sheet 4. Dubois has been scrapping to get into 3^rd place and now they have their sights on 2^nd. McGovern will continue with their new effort to use data mining to their advantage. This one will end in a whiskey fueled brawl for second best. McGovern uses the cloud to retain their spot.
• Lichty – Jansen: Lots of really even match-ups this week. Both of these broken spirits are coming off of a loss last week so the good news is that one of them will experience a victory. Sadly, Jansen’s focus currently has veered towards more nontraditional frigid activities such as ice fishing and figure skating. If Lichty is capable, they can turn this to their favor and triple toe loop to a win.
• Long – Anderson: A big thanks to Anderson for volunteering to mentor this week. Long has been around a while, but they still appreciate that big brother perspective from time to time. They’ll spend the first few ends getting reacquainted, and by the 7^th it will all degrade to a sheet wide tickle fight. Anderson will regain their composure in the 8^th to finish the deal.
• Boomer – Lickteig: Good times will be had. Not sure by who, but someone.  Boomer brings the pain this week. Lickteig turns that pain to victory.
• Rohde – Pylka: Jet-setting Pylka is back for another go, this time against well-grounded Rohde. Look for a number of 2 and 3 point ends with the deciding factor being the hammer in the 8^th. This could really go either way, but I think Rohde can eek it out.

Chili next week! Chili next week.