Category: Weekly Matchup

Lucky 13 this week for those of you who believe in luck.

• McLellan – Lawrence: These teams aren’t that far apart on paper, but McLellan is still a little wet behind the ears relatively speaking. Lawrence had a big win last week so if they can all remember where the club is, they should get another win.
• McLaughlin – McGovern: The whiskey will be flowing on sheet 2 as a battle of the clans unfolds. Let’s all hope they don’t get all traditional with the kilts and the lack of proper undergarments. Avert your eyes from this one and assume that McGovern marches to victory.
• Hammes – Pylka: Pylka beware, while you might not invest much in the supernatural, Hammes is well versed in the dark arts. Being the 13^th week, the power of the hex is unusually strong so most shots will favor Hammes. This might be enough to best a lesser team, but the goodness of Pylka should be sufficient to overcome. If the 4^th end social has a vapor component to it, I would suggest Pylka decline.
• Lichty – Moll: The spirit of Beranek returned last weekend to endow Moll with fortitude and vigor. Embracing this temporary youthfulness will give Moll the necessary lift to best a prodigal Lichty.
• Dveris – Jansen: A well-deserved rest could give Jansen a boost this week but the still deep waters of Dveris are often taken too lightly. It’s Jansen’s laurels that will be their undoing while Dveris sneaks away with a steal.
• Lickteig – Rohde: I’m going to call management and see if we can’t get a 4^th end re-pebble for this match. The intensity of these rinks combined is enough to wear a sheet flat in half the time. One can only hope that Lickteig can lighten the mood with some pre-game yoga by the broken candy machine.
• Anderson – Rokke: It might be tough to keep an eye on this one, but you’ll want to, as it will mostly likely be the closest match of the night. While Anderson may have felt shafted last week, they should be able to dislodge said shaft and use it for good. Rokke (not Rokke) has had a banner inaugural year, but I expect another loss or two are in their future including one to Anderson this week.
• Dubois – Long: Bring out the tights and leggings and leg warmers and scarves and fox stoles and flannel this week, it’s going to get woodsy on sheet 8. The comforting aromas of a wood fire and warm scotch will create a haze over the match such that none will be able to see the far house. After two plus hours of chopping and pushing, Dubois will glide out of the mist on a canoe filled with beaver pelts elderberries. Too bad you can’t smoke a pipe upstairs anymore.

Now get out there and curl.

P.S.  Does anyone want to take over coordinating the Metro League Chili Night? The former organizer is wishing to pass the torch. If folks value that event and want it to continue, please talk to me for information about helping out. It isn’t too much work.

Sorry folks, the standings are in need up updating. Our team had last week off due to a schedule conflict from the other team, so I wasn’t able to get the results.  I assure you that we’ll get up to date tonight.

• Boomer – McGovern: What can I say? It’s always a pleasure facing off against these all-American lads. I mean, take away the foul language and the inappropriate gesturing and you really do have the boys-next-door, not next door to me, but next door to someone. Technology helps McGovern to a win.
• Lichty – Pylka: When Pylka is all accounted for, they can shake down the best in the league. Lichty has had some problems with truancy themselves lately so a mix of the two may not bode well for them. Pylka wins with style this week.
• Moll – Dveris: Moll could be late this week, and every week, as they are moving their home base of operations from the Gnome over to the new Surly brewery complex. Not quite as convenient, but worth the drive for them. Dveris is taking things in the opposite direction by pregaming in the parking lot with a zip-loc full of Pabst.
• Zimmerman – Rohde: Expect Rohde to put up a fight this week as Zimmerman continues to push folks around with their unique blend of flippant whimsy.
• Dubois – Rokke: I’m going out on a limb and putting some serious pressure on Dubois this week. These guys will curl out of their minds and put Rokke on the ropes. If there is enough maple veneer left on Dubois, they can pull out a stunning upset of the week.
• Anderson – Lawrence: Classic match-up. Normally, I’d tip my hat to the youth of Anderson, but what they don’t realize is while they feel like giddy school-boys in the prime years of their lives, they are actually careening toward old age. Sure Lawrence is already there, but at some point in their (distant) past they reached a very stable plateau to which they are unaffected by the passage of time. Woe is Anderson and their disintegrating cartilage. Lawrence will celebrate victory with a round of tart cherry juice.
• Long – McLaughlin: A guaranteed good time on sheet 7. For the rest of us, it will be like watching your kid brother’s baseball team go into extra innings. All the pride and heartache is worth it during this trial by fire. I’m not really sure where I’m going with this. Um, McLaughlin?
• Hammes – Lickteig: Breaking news. Lickteig is F-ed. In a move not uncommon for Hammes, they’ve brought in a ringer and former heel of the Metro League as a spare for this match up. I’m not at liberty to reveal the identity of the sub, but let’s just say that the 4^th end social may be heavily skewed to the skunky flavors of an aspiring brewer. Drink up Lickteig, while your loss may have an asterisk by it, you’ll still have to live with the knowledge that you were bested by siren song of Hammes et. al.

If you have any results from last week that you’d like to share, please let me know in the comments or otherwise. You all have my permission to get back to work now.

It’s the new year and time for some new curling. The first half of the season is over, so if you’re going to make a move up the standings, now is the time. Also, if you had make-up games over the break, get the results to me if possible. Thanks

• Zimmerman – Dveris: Zimmerman is making things tough for almost everyone in the league. Dveris can hit shots and cause their own troubles, but I think Zimmerman will make it happen this week.
• McLellan – Lickteig: McLellan has had plenty of close matches this year and can hang with most. This could be the week to hastle Lickteig, most of them are probably still trying to remember what year it is. However, spy reports indicate that Lickteig participated in some kind of unholy 2 on 2 curling sacrilege over the break which could spell doom for McLellan.
• Dubois – McLaughlin: McLaughlin better channel the spirit of the north this week. Maybe watch Strange Brew and listen to some Leonard Cohen because Dubois are feeling extra Canadian and will use that to their advantage.
• Boomer – Anderson: All brooms on deck, it’s time for Boomer to sweep off those holiday pounds trying to fight off the ‘giners but all the sweeping in the world won’t be enough to rub away the 2 on 2 shenanigans that Anderson was also a part of.
• Long – Hammes: This is it Hammes. You are being picked for real. I suggest you start your social in the first end and bring in a wheelbarrow full of PBR for the Long fellows. Then in the fourth, you hit them with the Tequila Rose. That should cause a forfeit and lead to your first official win.
• Jansen – Pylka: This is the match to watch this week. I’m seeing some big back and forth swings in the score and definitely an extra end. Jansen will do what Jansen does best, but in the end, Pylka will pull it out, like they have a habit of doing.
• Moll – Lawrence: I’d keep one eye on this sheet too. Both rinks are capable of putting together a complete competent match, and neither shies away from a fight. Moll has a slight advantage this season, so if they can take it easy during their pregame, they should emerge victorious.
• Lichty – McGovern: A classic match up that is quickly becoming the stuff of legend. This year the official McGovern biographer will be on hand to take in the spectacle first hand so it can be entered into the annals of McGovern lore. Lichty will have a police sketch artist there to capture the moments of agony and triumph in stunning pastels. A hot dog vendor will also make the rounds at 9:30, please have correct change.

Maybe it’s a little early, but we should probably start talking about the Metro League winter chili feed. See you on the ice.