Season 2016: Week 8

I hope everyone had a great holiday, things were a little quiet last week with the impending celebration and all but we managed to get a number of the regular league matches in. I’ll get the standings updated later this week.

• Haga – Hammes: This should be a good matchup, a fresh Haga rink has started to find their way, while a zooted Hammes has remained rudderless through 43 (?) matches. Expect some terrible fruit flavored tequila cream drinks around 9:30 that will make you want to poke your eyes out and start Facebook stalking old high school flames again.
• McLellan – Allendorph: Two highly contrasting styles collide for this match, one follows the structured discipline of a haiku while the other poorly adheres to the loose architecture governing a freestyle rap at a Taco Bell drive thru.
• Dveris – Boomer: Extra end. Boomer gets their act together this week and gives Dveris a real run for their money. A few ill-timed giners on both sides threaten to capsize each prospective rally, but folks live and die by their own coined terms.
• Lawrence – Anderson: Classic bout. Break out the fake tattoos and carnival hair; it’s time to get serious.  Anderson would have a chance if only their pads matched their apparel; such is not the case, and will be their ultimate undoing.
• Long – McGovern: Tickets to this match sold out three months ago. The only way to get a seat now is to win them on Radio K, so tune in to AM 700 and be the first caller after you hear the “K”. Interest is high for good reason, it’s been 14 months since these two foes last faced off and the result was a broom snapping, profanity laced defeat for one of them. Let’s hope, in the holiday spirit, that cooler heads prevail this year.
• Dubois – Lickteig: Another classic. Evenly matched teams, a rich history of competition, and explosive personalities all add up to making this a must watch. One team will have a big end, but the other will grind out the win. Watch out for Thanksgiving leftovers scattered about the hack.
• Lichty – Wainberg: This is set up to be the mentor-mentee match of the week. Lichty has spent some time writhing in the (re)birth pangs of salvaging a lost empire, much like Wainberg is currently experiencing.  The mentor will tell you that there’s no easy way out, no epidural, no C-section short cut to curling maturity, just a long road of gritting your teeth to push that sucker out. Take heed.
• Rohde – Moll: And finally an unprecedented third classic of the week. Two more teams that can really bring their A-game and have a lights-out kind of night. This one will see at least one blanked end as well as a full rock 9^th. Definitely too close to call, so I won’t.

I’ll be out of town the week after next so if anyone wants to do some guest picks that week, let me know.