Metro League News

Sorry I haven’t updated the standings in a few weeks. I’ll get that done this week for sure.

• McLaughlin – Dubois: On sheet 8, it’s anyone’s guess. Mystical forces will pull and push the rock in unnatural ways. Check your opponent for directional fabric before the match. An impossible shot from Dubois will win the game.
• Haga – Lickteig: Expect a late start this week as the Lickteig guys will arrive a bit behind schedule in their poorly restored AMC Eagle “team car”. That kind of unity is hard to top. Haga will assemble a few good ends but Lickteig shifts into 4×4 and powers out of the quagmire.
• McLellan – Lichty: Keep the Canadian Mist handy for all participants. Don’t feel bad, you’ll do better next time.
• Moll – Wainberg: Another serious test of the Wainberg rink but one that they can rise to. It will take a few ends for Moll to get things straight, but once they do, it should be smooth sailing. Cue the yacht rock.
• Allendorph – Lawrence: I have been informed that the Lawrence lads will be jet setting as per usual so this game will not be played.  Shucks.
• Boomer – Rohde: This is Boomer’s week. Rohde is certainly more than qualified to take down Boomer on a normal meeting, but all the stars align this time and the perennial Boomer juggernaut pokes out its turtle head just long enough to mark the W.
• Jansen – Anderson: Someone call up ESPN Classic and broadcast this game between the ’87 World Series and ’98-‘99 NFC championship game.  It’s that classic. Hearts will break, tears will fall, fists will pump.
• Dveris – McGovern: Instead of a coin flip on sheet 1, hammer should be decided by a foot race to Fern’s and back. McGovern should be able to win the race, and the match.

The holidays are approaching. Looking for that last minute gift? HOGLINE has just the thing! Ask me about our new shipment of stellar brooms and apparel. Men’s, women’s AND new for this year, little tees for the kids. Who’s ready?

 

I hope everyone had a great holiday, things were a little quiet last week with the impending celebration and all but we managed to get a number of the regular league matches in. I’ll get the standings updated later this week.

• Haga – Hammes: This should be a good matchup, a fresh Haga rink has started to find their way, while a zooted Hammes has remained rudderless through 43 (?) matches. Expect some terrible fruit flavored tequila cream drinks around 9:30 that will make you want to poke your eyes out and start Facebook stalking old high school flames again.
• McLellan – Allendorph: Two highly contrasting styles collide for this match, one follows the structured discipline of a haiku while the other poorly adheres to the loose architecture governing a freestyle rap at a Taco Bell drive thru.
• Dveris – Boomer: Extra end. Boomer gets their act together this week and gives Dveris a real run for their money. A few ill-timed giners on both sides threaten to capsize each prospective rally, but folks live and die by their own coined terms.
• Lawrence – Anderson: Classic bout. Break out the fake tattoos and carnival hair; it’s time to get serious.  Anderson would have a chance if only their pads matched their apparel; such is not the case, and will be their ultimate undoing.
• Long – McGovern: Tickets to this match sold out three months ago. The only way to get a seat now is to win them on Radio K, so tune in to AM 700 and be the first caller after you hear the “K”. Interest is high for good reason, it’s been 14 months since these two foes last faced off and the result was a broom snapping, profanity laced defeat for one of them. Let’s hope, in the holiday spirit, that cooler heads prevail this year.
• Dubois – Lickteig: Another classic. Evenly matched teams, a rich history of competition, and explosive personalities all add up to making this a must watch. One team will have a big end, but the other will grind out the win. Watch out for Thanksgiving leftovers scattered about the hack.
• Lichty – Wainberg: This is set up to be the mentor-mentee match of the week. Lichty has spent some time writhing in the (re)birth pangs of salvaging a lost empire, much like Wainberg is currently experiencing.  The mentor will tell you that there’s no easy way out, no epidural, no C-section short cut to curling maturity, just a long road of gritting your teeth to push that sucker out. Take heed.
• Rohde – Moll: And finally an unprecedented third classic of the week. Two more teams that can really bring their A-game and have a lights-out kind of night. This one will see at least one blanked end as well as a full rock 9^th. Definitely too close to call, so I won’t.

I’ll be out of town the week after next so if anyone wants to do some guest picks that week, let me know.

I’m off this week. Let folks know if you won’t be around for next week’s pre-Thanksgiving match.

• Jansen – McLellan: McLellan brings it hard and fast.
• Long – Anderson: Anderson makes it work.
• Rohde – Lickteig: Lickteig practiced.
• Dubois – Lichty: New equipment gets it done.
• Hammes – Moll: Recommend fourth end craft beer.
• Dveris – McLaughlin: Strong show of teamwork.
• Haga – Allendorph: Strike first, strike hard.
• Lawrence – Wainberg: I just wasn’t made for these times.

 

Keep it real.